The Hardest Thing
by thewhiskersonkittens
Summary: Clark is torn between the love he has for two very different women. They both mean the world to him. While no stranger to difficulties, this was the hardest thing he ever had to do. Clois and Superwonder. One-shot. Rated T for some language and a lemon.


**This story and title is inspired by the 98 degrees song "The Hardest Thing". I do not own any DC Comics characters. Thank you for viewing/reading and please leave a review! :)**

The Hardest Thing

A balmy breeze from the partially open window drifted into the apartment. Clark Kent lay in bed wide awake watching the curtains gently sway. He reached over to the nightstand, picked up his phone and glanced at the time: 2:45 a.m. He closed his eyes. He could hear the distant sound of an ambulance siren wailing and a neighbor's dog barking. But anyone could also hear those things. He could also hear the cry of a newborn baby three blocks away. He could hear the faint volume of a TV left on in someone's hotel room all the way in the north side of Metropolis. And he could hear the heartbeat of his sleeping wife, Lois, right next to him.

Clark looked to his left. Lois was on her side, her back facing him. He thought about gently stroking her shoulder-length brunette hair but decided against it. He didn't want to disturb her sleep. Or upset her. It was the first time in a few days that Lois allowed Clark back in the bed with her. He had been sleeping on the living room couch. At work they remained cordial with each other, but Clark wondered if others suspected there was growing pains between them. Perry mentioned something about Clark's wrinkled work shirts the other day. Clark came up with some lame excuse about forgetting to iron, but he knew his old-timer boss wasn't born yesterday. Perry White had been a married man for almost half a century. He knew from experience when a wife banished her husband to the couch and a wrinkled shirt was as good of an indicator as any.

Clark stared up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes again. This time he focused his super-hearing. If he concentrated hard enough, he could hear her. Not Lois but Diana. Wonder Woman. He pictured her Paradise Island. He pictured her asleep in her bedroom in the palace. He tried not to picture her nude even though she had let it slip to him before that she slept that way. The last thing he needed was to get aroused thinking about another woman while his wife was sleeping right next to him. He concentrated. A smile began to form on his face. He could see her. In her bedroom, her heavenly body wrapped only in a white bed-sheet, her long ebony hair splayed out on the pillow. Those beautiful blue eyes of hers would be closed, her long black lashes touching her cheeks. Her full pink lips curved in a smile. She was a princess but to him she was an angel. He listened. He could hear her. He could hear her heartbeat.

**…**

Lois could handle lots of different things. She could handle last minute work deadlines, Perry breathing down her neck about something or the other, and Jimmy annoying the hell out of her daily. She could handle her husband's double life. Or at least she thought she could. How many women got to say Superman was the guy they came to home to? She supposed she should consider herself lucky. She knew Clark was no stranger to being hit-on, either as Smallville or Superman. Lois knew how attractive her husband was but she never really felt insecure about the other women who threw themselves at Clark. Lois wasn't bothered by Lana Lang, Clark's high school sweetie. The redhead still carried a torch for him bigger than the Statue of Liberty's. Lois knew Lana played nice but was secretly hoping for something to give between Lois and Clark so Lana could finally recapture "the one who got away". Home girl shouldn't hold her breath, Lois often thought.

Then there was Cat Grant. For years, the shameless hussy was always shoving her fake triple D's in Clark's face and making ridiculous double entendres. Clark would never go for someone like Cat and Lois thought it was both amusing and pathetic to watch her try. Clark worked alongside some of the most beautiful and extraordinary women in the Justice League: Hawkgirl, Black Canary, Zatanna, Vixen, - the list was endless. But they didn't bother Lois. There was only one teammate of his that really got under her skin. It was Wonder Woman. Diana, Princess of Themyscira.

Lois once spent a day interviewing Diana and the whole time Lois kept looking to see if she could spot one flaw in the Greek woman's perfect olive colored skin. It was a futile effort. Diana ran around in basically what was an armored strapless red, blue, and star spangled one-piece swimsuit. No doubt Clark hadn't sneaked a few peeks at her ass cheeks that were constantly exposed in that thing. The gold eagle chest piece could barely hold up her ample breasts; honestly how did she manage to fight in that get-up without falling out of it? The super-heroine could wear no make-up at all and still look airbrushed. She never wore perfume yet still smelled like an exotic blend of white grapes and orchids.

Diana was smart and compassionate. She could speak over ten different languages and helped orphans in third-world countries. Meanwhile, Lois could squeak by with some intermediate level Spanish and her most generous act to date was to donate three boxes of outdated clothes to Goodwill. Diana was pleasant and friendly to everyone. Lois, while not exactly a mean person, knew she could be pushy and sarcastic. Lois knew Diana thought Lois hated her. It was partly true. Lois did hate Wonder Woman but not because of her beauty or her superpowers or her unlimited intellect and compassion.

No, what Lois Lane Kent hated the most about Wonder Woman was that she knew Clark better than his own wife did. She knew Diana understood him in a way Lois never would. She knew Diana made him laugh in a way that Lois didn't. She knew Diana liked to call Clark by his alien name: "Kal". The name had a personal touch to it: only Diana and Clark's cousin, Kara, called him that. She knew Clark told Diana things that he never shared with her. During the day spent together, Diana had let it slip to Lois about the time she spent on Asgard with Clark, an anecdote he somehow neglected to tell his wife about. A thousand years together and Diana said nothing had happened between them. She even offered Lois her golden lasso to prove it was the truth but Lois turned it down. She knew Clark had been faithful to her, at in the least physical sense. Mentally and emotionally, however, Lois knew her husband was as guilty as sin. It tore her up inside and she was starting to think it was going to tear their marriage apart.

**…**

Clark went to bed early one night. Lois' side of the bed was empty; she was out late covering a charity benefit dinner at the Metropolis convention center. Normally, Lois wouldn't cover "fluff" stories like that but Perry was going to be there and Lois was certain the editor-in-chief was going to give her the promotion she had been working so hard for. Clark had given her a quick peck on the lips and wished her good luck.

After showering and shaving, Clark pulled on his white undershirt and red boxers and slipped under the cotton bed-sheets. He thought it was going to be another restless night but to his surprise as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was sound asleep. He dreamed of Diana. He was there in Paradise Island. He was in his Superman suit, floating just outside Diana's palace bedroom window. He gracefully drifted into the room. The room was beautiful with white marble columns and cream colored drapes and furniture. He looked around but didn't see her.

"Hello, Kal," Diana melodious exotic voice sang to him.

Clark smiled as he turned around slowly and what he saw took his breath away. The statuesque demi-goddess stood before him wearing a long Grecian dress with a plunging neckline. The teal color contrasted beautifully against her tanned skin. The flowing chiffon fabric hung perfectly in all the right places on her magnificent figure. Her ebony curls were pinned up in a regal up-do, held in place by a sparkling hair ornament. She still wore her silver bracelets. She was not wearing her gold tiara but it didn't matter. She looked every bit like a queen than a princess.

She slowly approached him, her blue eyes were locked on his. He was mesmerized by the way the dress fluttered behind her when she moved.

"Diana," Clark whispered. "You look…" There were no words to adequately describe how amazing she looked. He silently mouthed the word "Wow".

Diana stopped in front of Clark. She slid her arms around his neck and pulled him close.

"I'm glad you're here, Kal," She said. "I've been thinking about you a lot."

Clark smiled. "Is that so?" He wrapped his arms around her waist.

Diana nodded. "Have you been thinking about me, too?"

"You know I have, Diana," Clark replied, his voice deepening with desire.

At this point, their mouths were only inches apart from each other.

"What do you think we should do about these feelings we have?" Diana whispered.

"I think I have an idea," Clark said before pressing his lips to Diana's.

They kissed passionately while they let their hands roam freely over each other's bodies.

**…**

Lois came home on cloud nine. The charity benefit dinner was a success and even better, Perry happily told her the promotion was hers. The reporter was ecstatic. She was so happy, she grabbed Jimmy and a few other friends and they all went bar-hopping to celebrate. It was almost 1:00 a.m. by the time Lois let herself in the apartment. She kicked off her pumps and stumbled into the bedroom. She wasn't completely drunk but definitely a little buzzed.

In the dark, she could see Clark was fast asleep. He looked peaceful; happy. Lois reached around and unclasped her black halter dress. She let it fall to the floor, fetched her baby pink satin nightgown and slipped into the bathroom to freshen herself up.

Lois crawled into bed but sleep was the furthest thing on her mind. She was in the best mood she'd been in a long time. She looked at her sleeping husband and decided to wake him up.

**…**

Deep within the dream, Clark and Diana were now both stripped of their clothes and making love to each other. Diana was on top of Clark, establishing a steady rhythm as she rode him to ecstasy.

"Make love to me…make love to me, Clark…Clark…wake up! Make love to me, honey…wake up…Make love to me…wake up, Clark!"

Clark heard it over and over. Making love to her is what he thought he was doing so it slightly confused him as to why Diana kept repeating that. The image of Wonder Woman started to fade away. He felt his body being shook and his blue eyes fluttered open. Lois' violet eyes were pouring into his. She was straddling him, with one hand slipped inside his boxers, stroking him. Her other hand was gently pushing on his shoulder to get him to wake up. Clark raised up, realizing he was no longer dreaming but his mind was still foggy.

"Lois? Honey? What are you doing? What time is it?"

"Shhh…" She pressed her index finger to his lips. Lois tugged down Clark's boxers. His erection sprung up and Lois hiked up the skirt of her nightgown and guided him into her. Clark moaned.

"Oh, honey…" Clark tilted his head back in pleasure.

Lois hushed him again.

"Make love to me, Smallville," Lois whispered. She cradled his head with her hands and leaned down to kiss him. "Don't think…don't speak…just make love to me…"

She peppered his face with kisses. Her breath smelled like a mixture of liquor and mouthwash.

"Oh, Clark…It's been so long…" Lois moaned. "C'mon, baby…Make love to me."

It had been awhile since they've been intimate. Clark wasn't exactly sure what had made his wife so randy out of the blue but he wasn't going to complain.

Clark returned Lois' hungry kisses as she continued to ride him. His hands cupped her breasts and he could feel her hard nipples underneath the satin fabric. Soon the apartment was filled with the sounds of their moans and heavy breathing. Lois quickened her pace. One thin strap of her nightgown slid off Lois' shoulder, exposing her right breast. Clark took the opportunity to lavish attention on it. Lois moaned. He pushed down the other strap and suckled on her other nipple.

Clark enjoyed making love to his wife again after so long but his mind started to betray him. He began envisioning Diana again, trying to picture the rest of the dream if it hadn't been interrupted. He pictured Diana riding him again, her breasts in his mouth. Lois kept rocking against him.

"Clark…honey…oh, Clark…" Lois sighed.

"Diana…"

**…**

Lois' body froze. She stopped gyrating on Clark. She looked down at her husband underneath her.

"What did you just say?" Lois carefully asked, trying to keep her voice as level as possible.

Clark, still on a sex high, wasn't sure why Lois stopped and why she suddenly sounded peeved. His mind was so clouded.

"Huh?" Clark asked.

Beads of sweat rolled down his temples and he was breathing heavily. Oh dear, merciful Rao, why on earth did she have to stop now?!

Lois leaned in so close to his face, her nose was almost touching his. Her violet eyes were shooting daggers at him.

"_What._ _Did_. _You._ _Just._ _Say?!"_ Her voice went up an octave. If he didn't start explaining himself soon, she swore she was going to wrap her hands around his neck and strangle him. Or least die trying.

Clark was still trying to catch his breath. What the hell was going on with his wife?! First, she wakes him up for sex for the first time in a long time and right in the middle she stops and is now giving him a death glare. Shit, he didn't know what he just said. It could have been anything.

"I…I don't know, Lois," Clark honestly admitted. "What did I say?"

Lois raised up. The next thing Clark knew was he was getting slapped across the face. It surprised him more than it stung. Lois knew her hand was going to hurt like hell for a week but she pretended like her hand wasn't throbbing with pain. In a huff, she dismounted herself off of him and yanked up her bunched up nightgown.

"Son of a bitch!" She slid the straps back on her shoulders and stormed out of the bedroom.

Clark remained in the bed, partially undressed and completely stunned. Why did Lois just slap him? He pulled on his boxers, cursing. His erection was still visible but he knew he would now be relieving it himself, solo style.

He heard Lois in the kitchen, yelling and cursing. He heard the sound of something breaking. He walked into the kitchen and his jaw dropped at the sight before him. He'd seen Lois angry before, of course. But she was now going through all the cabinets and smashing every plate and glass she could get her hands on.

"Lois!" Clark cried. "What are you doing?! What's the matter with you?!"

She turned and shot him a glare. She held a dinner plate in her hand and angrily slammed it down. It shattered into several fragments. Clark was shocked. He knew his wife had a short fuse but he'd never seen her act like this before. He briefly wondered if one of his enemies had her mind-controlled.

Hot tears burned her eyes. She could feel the mascara running down her face. She picked up a crystal glass she was positive that had been a wedding gift. Without thinking, she threw it at his head. He swiftly ducked. Clark winced when he heard the glass shatter behind him.

"Lois, please! What's wrong with you?! Talk to me! Oh, Jesus, Lois…please don't break anything else…"

"_You!_" She pointed an accusatory finger at him. "You just had to go and ruin it, didn't you, Smallville?!"

She picked up another plate and smashed it. She went to break another one but Clark used his super speed and grabbed her wrists before she could do any more damage. Lois struggled to free herself from his grip but it was worthless to try.

"Stop it, Lois! Stop this right now!" Clark's blue eyes flashed with anger. She was going to wake up the entire apartment building and possibly get the cops called on them. He let go of her wrists and she folded her arms across her chest and turned her back to him.

"I was so happy," Lois said. "I came home and I was so happy. I got that promotion I wanted."

Clark softened a little. "You got it?! Lois, honey, that's great! But why are you so mad?"

He touched her shoulder but she angrily shook him off. He backed up to give her some space. She turned around. The sight of her broke his heart. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were stained with mascara streaks.

"You said her name," Lois quietly said. She looked down at her feet and saw what a mess she made with the dishes. Her head snapped up and she glared at Clark.

"You said _her _ name!" She repeated.

Clark's mouth opened but nothing came out. He didn't need to ask whose name Lois was referring to. He knew. And he was in deep shit.

"Lois…" Clark began. But he knew whatever he said was going to sound lame. How do you justify saying another person's name other than your lover's during sex? You couldn't. If it had been the other way around, Clark would be just as pissed off as Lois was right now.

"It's not what you think…" Clark attempted but it still sounded so stupid. He ran a hand through his jet black hair desperately trying to think of a way to rectify this.

"Have you been screwing her?" Lois tartly asked.

"Oh, for Pete's sake, Lois! _No_!" Clark firmly insisted.

Lois was silent. So silent it made Clark uneasy. He went to touch her shoulder again and to his relief she let him this time. He gingerly pulled her into an embrace. Lois didn't hug him back.

"You know I'd never do that to you," He told her.

"I know, Clark." Lois replied. "I know you wouldn't." She pushed him away. She met his eyes.

"But you've thought about it…haven't you?"

Clark had no quick response for that. Lois didn't need one. She knew the answer.

"You think about her, don't you?" Lois said. "You think about her all the time. When you're laying there next to me in the bed…when we're eating dinner…having breakfast…" Lois paused and then continued: "You dream about her. And now…you're thinking about her when you're making love to me." Her voice cracked on that last sentence.

Had it been that obvious? He thought he had hid his feelings for Diana pretty well up until now. But Lois knew. She'd known for a long time.

"Diana and I are just friends, you know that." Clark said.

Lois immediately bristled at the mention of Wonder Woman's name. Clark decided he better shut up and stop saying Diana's name. It obviously triggered Lois like nothing else.

Lois shook her head. "No, you not "just friends", Clark. A friend is someone like Jimmy or Perry or...Batman...or...Flash...or Hawkgirl...or anyone else in the League. You care about them but your relationship with them has limits. You don't have limits with..."

Lois paused and then quickly spat out the name: "_Diana_".

Clark folded his arms and looked at his wife like she suddenly sprouted two heads.

"What are you talking about, Lois? What do you mean we don't have "limits"?"

Lois didn't respond right away.

Clark sighed. "Are you talking about the thousand year war in Asgard? Because if you are…Lois, look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it sooner. But I _swear_ to you, nothing happened!"

"Just because nothing physical has happened between you two doesn't mean it still isn't an affair, Clark."

He bristled at the word "affair". Affair?! Where did she get off telling him he was having an "affair"?!

"Think about it," Lois went on. "You bring her up all the time. You don't talk about any of your other friends like you talk about her. You say: 'Diana, said this' 'Diana said that' 'Diana made me laugh so hard today'..."

"Uh-huh." Clark flatly interrupted. He was still agitated about the "affair" remark.

"So I talk about her a lot? Does that automatically mean we're having an affair, Lois?!" His voice was rising but he so was peeved his wife would accuse him of such a thing.

"Oh my God, Clark, stop being so obtuse!" Lois shot back. "I'm talking about an _emotional_ affair! How would you feel if I was constantly talking about some other guy, Smallville?!" How about I go strike up a friendship with some handsome doctor or lawyer?! Better yet, why don't I call up that hunky Bruce Wayne in Gotham?! Would that be OK with you, Clark?! I think that sounds fair, doesn't it, honey?! You can be "just friends" with Wonder Wench and me and the playboy Wayne can be "just friends", too."

Lois did the finger quotes when she said "just friends".

"Yeah, I'll be sure to tell Wayne things I'll never tell you. I'll be sure to run to him first whenever I have a problem or good news to share. And I'll _definitely_ make sure I fantasize about him and say his name out loud while we're in bed together. But don't worry, babe, we're "just friends".

Lois voice cracked again and she began sobbing. A tidal wave of sadness washed over her. She slowly sank to the kitchen floor despite all the broken shards everywhere.

Clark stared at her. He felt like his heart was being squeezed to death. My God, Clark thought. Lois was right. Her words just then hurt him but he never realized how much he'd been hurting her. An "emotional" affair? He'd never heard of such. But it sounded about right. He thought about everything Lois just said. It was all true. He talked about Diana a lot. He thought often of the ways she made him smile. Diana usually was the first one he thought of when he had something good to share or if something was bothering him he knew the Amazon princess would always be there with a supportive ear. And now, there was no denying he was sexually attracted to her, as well. No wonder why Lois was so upset. If the shoe was on the other foot, he'd be pretty upset as well. He felt like such a jerk.

"Lois…"

She was sobbing steadily now. He went into the other room, fetched the tissue box and came back and knelt down beside her. He used the box to gently tap on her knee.

"Lois, honey, you have to get up off this floor. You're gonna cut yourself."

"Go away," Lois mumbled.

She took the tissue box from him, pulled out a wad and began blowing her nose and wiping her face. She knew she must look like a hot mess right now. Her eyes were swollen from crying so much. The mascara was all over her face and hands. Her nose was running. She felt a little bit embarrassed of the scene and the mess she'd just made but she couldn't control herself. She felt like her marriage to a good man was in jeopardy and it drove her mad.

Clark sat down next to her, trying ignore the shards that were littering the floor and were digging into his butt and bare feet.

He put his arm around her and pulled her close. She didn't fight him but she refused to look at him.

"Look at me," Clark said. "Look at me, honey…"

He cupped her chin and tilted it up so she was looking at him. He took a tissue and began blotting away the streaks on her face.

"I'm sorry, Lois. I'm so sorry. I didn't know how much you were hurting. How much I was hurting you. I'm sorry, baby. Tell me, what do you want me to do? I'll do anything to make it right. Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it."

He was being sincere. He'd do anything for her. If she wanted to go couple's counseling, he'd do it.

Clark was stroking Lois' hair to soothe her. She seemed to have calmed down considerably. Her sobs quieted but she still didn't say anything for the longest time.

"Tell me what to do," Clark whispered.

"I can't tell you what to do, Clark." Lois finally replied. "You're a big boy." She then looked him square in the eyes and said: "But you need to figure it out and fast."

Clark nodded.

"I love you, Lois," he said. "You know that, right? I love you."

Lois sighed. She leaned into him. "I love you too, Clark."

Lois paused and then quietly added: " And I know you love me but let's face it: you're _in_ love with Diana, too."

**…**

It probably wasn't the best thing to right now but Clark really needed to talk to Diana. Unlike in his dream, however, he couldn't just float in through her bedroom window. Amazon guards were on alert everywhere around Themyscira. They had a tendency to be a little touchy about strangers coming to their land, especially male strangers, and with good reason. He glided around the island until he spotted a familiar face.

"Philippus!" Clark called out to the Amazon general.

Philippus jumped at the unexpected calling of her name. She quickly turned and in a blink of an eye she unsheathed her sword and pointed it at Clark. He raised his hands in surrender. Philippus' face seem to relax when she realized who he was.

"Superman," Philippus said, nodding to greet him. She put her sword back in it's sheath.

"I'm sorry, Philippus. I didn't mean to startle you," Clark said.

"I take it you're here to see the princess Diana?"

He nodded. "Please."

The Amazon general whistled to her horse that was grazing nearby. The mare trotted over and Philippus mounted her in one swift motion.

"Follow me." Philippus instructed.

Clark followed Philippus to the palace. Along the way they passed several Amazons who gawked and whispered among each other at the sight of Superman. Why exactly did the "spaceman" come to visit the princess so much? They all wondered but never asked.

Philippus took Clark to the front of the palace.

"The princess is her chambers," Philippus told Clark.

He thanked her for her assistance and flew up to the window.

Diana's room was just like it was in his dream: beautiful and creamed colored. Clark floated in.

"Diana?" He called out.

Clark walked around observing his surroundings. There was a luxurious ivory colored chaise lounge in the middle of the room. She had a white canopy bed with sheer curtains. In the corner was a gold antique vanity with a large mirror. Priceless sculptures and works of art decorated the room. Clark was deep in thought staring at one of the paintings on the wall when suddenly there was a cry of:

"HI-YAHH!"

Before he had time to react, he felt a pair of legs clasp around his neck and his body was swiftly flipped over. He hit the floor with a loud thud and the impact made him say: "Oomp!"

He opened his eyes to see Diana's face peering down on him. She was sitting on top of him and a smug smile spread across her face.

"You gotta be quicker than that, Kal." Diana teased. "How many times do we have to go through this?"

Clark chuckled once he got his breath back. "Yeah, I really should be expecting that by now. You do it to me all the time in the Watchtower."

Diana stood and extended her hand to help him stand up. Clark reached for her hand but impulsively decided to pay her back. He grabbed her hand and in a flash she was flipped over on her back.

Diana laughed. "Oh, Kal. I guess I deserved that."

"You most certainly did, princess!" Clark smiled as he helped to her feet for real this time.

Diana was not wearing her usual Wonder Woman armor. She was in a Grecian dress but instead of the one in his dream, this dress was much more modest. It was white and one shouldered. She wore her gold tiara and silver bracelets. On her feet were a pair of gold gladiator sandals. The outfit was simple, casual even, but she still managed to look absolutely beautiful.

"What brings you to the island, Kal?" Diana asked. She gave him a hug. "I assume you didn't come all this way just to spar with me."

She walked over the vanity and checked her appearance. "How have you been? How's Lois?"

Clark blinked at the sound of his wife's name. He knew Diana was only being polite but why did she have to bring up Lois so soon? He wanted to stall a little bit. Enjoy this last bit of time with her.

"I'm OK, I guess." Clark solemnly answered the first question. He didn't know how to answer the second question.

Diana detected the hint of melancholy in his tone. Her eyes met his in the mirror reflection.

"Kal?" Diana asked. "You sound so sad. What's wrong?" She turned around to face him.

Clark sighed. He shrugged his shoulders.

Diana walked over to him and touched his arm.

"Whatever it is, you know you can trust me," She said.

"Yes, I know, Diana. I thank you for that."

He looked at the balcony and gestured with his head.

"Can we talk out there?"

Diana nodded. "Sure."

**…**

Together they both leaned over the balcony railing and looked at the rolling sea-foam green waves in the ocean.

Diana waited patiently for Clark to start talking.

"Lois and I…" Clark began. "We…had a fight the other night."

Diana raised her eyebrows.

"An argument," Clark clarified.

"OK…" Diana said. "Isn't that normal for couples to argue every now and then?"

Clark rubbed his face and sighed. "Yeah, I suppose so."

Diana shifted uncomfortably. She wished Kal would just tell her whatever was on his mind. He never had a problem sharing with her before. What was different this time around?

"What was it about, if you don't mind me asking?"

Clark looked down at his feet. Diana thought he acted ashamed about something.

"Well, it was mostly about me. But it was also partly about…you." He turned to face her then.

Diana gaped. She didn't know what to say. About her?!

"You didn't do anything wrong, Diana," Clark reassured her. "It's just…"

"Lois hates me," Diana whispered. Disappointment fell across her beautiful face and Clark felt bad.

"No, no, Diana. That's not it. Lois doesn't hate you…" Clark trailed off.

"I'm sorry I told Lois about Asgard, " Diana said. "Honestly, it just slipped out and I thought you'd have told her by then. I didn't mean to cause problems between you two."

Clark shook his head. "No, Diana. It's not about Asgard. It's…"

"You did tell her nothing happened, right?" Diana interjected. "I gave her my lasso to use on me to show her I was telling the truth. But she didn't want to."

"I know," Clark said. "But it wasn't all about Asgard. I mean, things had been a little rocky between us since then. But it started with…something stupid I did. Something stupid I said."

Clark paused and stared at Diana. He wasn't sure how much detail, if any at all, he should go into about what exactly happened and how the fight started. He decided to cut straight to the chase.

"Basically, Diana, I….I…" He started stammering. He could feel his cheeks flush. Diana was staring at him with the utmost concern in her eyes.

"I love you," he admitted.

Diana stared at him in disbelief.

"Well, of course you do, Kal," Diana said. "I love you, too. Very much so."

"No, you don't understand, Diana. I love you. I'm _in_ love with you." It all started to come pouring out of him at once as if her golden lasso was wrapped around him.

"I think about you, Diana. I think about you all the time when we're away from each other. I lay in bed next to Lois thinking about you. I use my hearing to listen to your heartbeat…I talk about you more than a married man should talk about another woman…I…I…dream about you, Diana. I…_dream_ about you."

He lowered his voice just in case anyone was ease dropping on them.

"I dream about...making love to you, Diana. Oh God, I want you so bad, Diana."

Diana stood in shock. She suddenly felt uncomfortable hearing all of this. It made her think of her own suppressed feelings for him. She crossed her arms and turned her back to him. Oh Great Hera, how could she begin to admit she was guilty of all those things as well? She thought about him often. He was the most gorgeous man she knew. She recalled how when she first met him she assumed him to be a god, he was just too magnificent to be anything less. But aside from his handsome looks, she mostly loved his compassionate and generous nature. He was by far the most genuinely kind person she'd ever met.

"Diana?" Clark said. "Please say something."

"I love you, too, Kal." Diana replied. She turned back around to face him. "I loved you from the first day we met. I think about you often, as well.. I've also imagined being completely yours and...giving myself to you...making love to you."

Her confession stunned him. They both stood there locking eyes with each other. It was all out in the open now.

"Lois knows how you feel about me, doesn't she?" Diana asked after a moment of silence. "That's what started the argument, wasn't it?"

Clark solemnly nodded.

"Let me talk to her, Kal. Woman-to-woman. I can help sort this out…"

"No," Clark cut her off. "I don't think that would be a good idea. Besides, it's not your mess to clean up. It's mine."

It was just like Diana to offer her help but Clark couldn't let her do that; wouldn't let her do that. He was the one who needed to get his shit together. Lois had agreed to go to counseling with him but there was something else he made up his mind to do. It wasn't going to be easy and perhaps kind of cruel.

Almost as if reading his mind, Diana asked: "What are you going to do?"

Clark looked down at his wedding band on his left hand. He gave it a little twist. He was in love with two different women but to only one of them he had made scared vows to. He had promises to keep.

"I'm going to say something now to you, Diana. But I want you to understand where I'm coming from. I hope it doesn't hurt you too badly. I'm really just saying this more for me than for you."

Diana braced herself. "Go ahead, Kal."

Clark sighed. "You know how they say that if you keep on saying something long enough you'll start to believe it regardless of whether it's true or not?"

Diana nodded.

"Well, here's what I'm going to tell myself. I only like you as a friend, Diana. I'm not in love you. I can't be with you. I've got someone who loves me at home and I love her very much."

That last sentence was true but he continued on with the painful lies: "I don't want you. I'm not going to think about you in an inappropriate way anymore. I only want my wife."

Were his eyes deceiving him now or did Diana's eyes brim with tears?

She turned away from him. Amazons didn't cry easily and they certainly wouldn't cry over some man. But Diana couldn't help herself. The tears started to overflow and she silently cried. She had half a mind to fetch her lasso and use it on him. Oh, sweet Kal, please stop! Please stop lying to yourself and to me!

Clark knew Diana was crying. He felt terrible knowing it was because of him. It took all the strength he had not to come up behind her and embrace her. If he did that, he knew it would be game over. He wouldn't be able to control himself. He'd take her in his arms and probably never let her go. He'd kiss away her tears. He'd act upon all his pent up desires for her. So he had to be cruel. He had to pretend to be emotionless. He had to pretend he didn't love her more than only as a friend. He just prayed that she wouldn't hate him forever after this.

Clark was no stranger to adversity. He'd had his fair share of challenges in his life as both Clark Kent and Superman. But this was by far the hardest thing he'd ever done.

**The End.**


End file.
